i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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