I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
