Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
