If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
