you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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