he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
