Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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