yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
