OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize