this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
