Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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