Need sex. Gaining weight.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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