watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
