i would punch a child for taco bell
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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