do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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