and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
