Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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