Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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