I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
