He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
did you just send me my own nude
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
