If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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