never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
