bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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