my vag is so smooth its legendary
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
