Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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