i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
