Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
