I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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