Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
