Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
