I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
