I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
