Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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