I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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