I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
