We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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