Sacagawea was the original milf.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize