Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
