So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
