possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
