yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
