I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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