But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
