you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
