I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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