how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Boobs are out for the taking
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
