If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
