weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
