he wants to bone in the snuggie
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There's always time for handjobs
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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