Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
