It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
