problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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