Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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