Are we in a gay sports bar?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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