Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
porn star boner night. come get it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
