He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
