Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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