How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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