Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
