woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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