Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
