I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
