i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
