Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Let's get the cat blown out
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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