i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
