East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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