He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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