I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize