Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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