i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think im going to throw up on grandma
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
